Did you hear about the woman who had 6 months to live? The doctor told her she should marry a social media consultant. “Why?” the woman asked, “Can social media really cure a terminal disease?”

“No ,” the doctor answered, “but it will be the longest six months of your life.”

It’s a good time to be in social media. We’re really busy. The industry is growing fast. It’s dynamic and fun and we’re helping great organizations grow more efficiently than ever, even in a down economy.

But, the industry is full of challenges. There is a laundry list, but the one on my mind today is the “overpromising” of social media.  John McCain would not be president now even if he used social media more effectively, GM would still be in bankruptcy, even if they had a great Facebook page, diseases aren’t cured, wars aren’t won, soulmates don’t meet and recessions aren’t avoided because of social media.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve been working in social media since the Geocities and Tripod days of 1999. I’ve seen great things happen, but I’ve never seen a social media miracle.

Often times, our phone rings with a new potential client looking to integrate social media into a marketing communications plan. At Webbed, we are very goal oriented and always look to outline clear ways of defining success with new and existing clients. Our goal is to sit down with a client every month and be able to say that without question a program is a success because we are reporting this many sales, leads, media pickups or other clear hard success metric.

But are there times we say no? Absolutely. And there are times you should say no.

1.       Social media can’t get people excited about a bad product.  No matter how much money you put into social media, eight track players can’t outsell iPods. If the market doesn’t believe in your product, or your clients’ products, don’t think social media will make it better.

2.       Social media can’t make people spend money. Yes, you can use social media to get people coming to your paint store. You can target highly qualified consumers with disposable income who want to paint their houses. You can communicate the virtues of the high quality paint in your store. But once a consumer is in the store, especially during a recession, they still may buy the cheap stuff.

3.       Social media can’t create a new market. Okay, it created a market for social media consultants-but other than that, forget it. There are only two rules in fishing- the first is “you can’t catch fish where there aren’t fish.” The same applies to marketing. Products that don’t solve a problem or provide real value aren’t going to sell, no matter how many fans there are on their Facebook page.

When we speak to groups about blogging, we always get the same two questions: "What time is lunch?" and "Where are the restrooms?" Okay, after those two, we get "What do I blog about?" and "What if bloggers say bad things about me?" Join us for a free blogging webinar tomorrow as we address these two topics.

Really, don't panic. More information on Facebook user names is here.

Okay, so it wasn't easy. We spent two years looking at social media measurement tools, developing and updating our own Webbed-O-Meter, talking to clients and traveling the country meeting with stakeholders, experts and competitors. But after all that, Webbed Marketing finally released its social media monitoring and measurement suite.

• We can track blog post volume in real time.

• We can tell you who is talking about you, by name, gender age and geography.

• We can tell you what people say online about your competitors, your partners, your executives and your products.

• We finally give you the secret sauce behind the Webbed-O-Meter.

• We track the hard numbers behind search and social media.

• And we have no idea what to call it.

See at the WM we're really good at social media, but we're not so good at naming things. Our first name, which was conceived from my love of fried pork, resulted in a cease and desist letter. Our second name-- "Microsoft Office" -- never made it past our own lawyers. So now we're asking for your help. Tell us what to call our Social Media Monitoring suite. We'll pick one winner and that winner receives a one year free license to the yet unnamed tool. And if you missed the product launch webinar, take a look at the product features while you're there.

Oink.

Okay, when it comes to Twitter, you are probably in one of two categories:

1. You use Twitter for your business a lot. It helps you connect with customers, investors and the media. It's your research tool, news channel, corporate communications tool, marketing, advertising, public relations and email. 

2. You wonder what the heck the big deal is about Twitter.

So I'll start this list of 101 business uses for Twitter for those of you in category two. Those of you in category one, please chime in:

1. Use Twitter to listen. No matter what your business is, there is a real-time discussion going on about your industry, your executives, your competitors and your customers.

2. Twitter is the world's biggest, most accurate, least expensive focus group (oh, and it's real time, have I mentioned that?). Do you run a pizza parlor in Tallahassee? Here are two ways of doing a focus group.

   • Option One: Make a  bunch of phone calls to get consumers to meet on a Tuesday night. Make sure they all eat pizza. Rent a research facility. Buy a bunch of M&Ms. Write up some questions that aren't too leading but that will draw out good responses. Hope the people show up. Get mad when half don't show up. Buy them $50 Starbucks cards. Have too many or not enough Starbucks cards. Hope they don't lie. Get mad at the bossy guy dominating the conversation. Etc.
   • Option 2: Click this link.
   
   

3. Twitter is competitive intelligence. Follow your competitors. From the CEO to the summer intern. You will be amazed at how quickly you know their pipelines, clients, pricing  and hiring plans. PS. tell your co-workers not to ever tweet your pipeline, clients, pricing or hiring plans.

4. Twitter is lead gen. Apologies to the purists, but Twitter is probably the best lead gen tool out there. First, don't ever, ever, spam. Never. Listen more than you talk. Only make direct contact with someone when you have a relevant message. Now that we have that straight, here are two ways to do lead generation:

   • Option One: Call a prospect. Ask for the person in charge of social media. Wait during an uncomfortable silence. Explain what social media is. Get transferred to the IT help desk. Smash head into wall.
   • Option Two: Follow everyone at the prospect company on Twitter. Wait until one of them tweets "Evaluating options for social media training." Direct message that person. Meet with that person over coffee. Discuss that person's kids, dogs, travel plans and hobbies (and all the other stuff they've tweeted about the last three weeks) over coffee, as well as their business needs. Close the deal.

Okay, all the folks in category one, help us get to 101 uses.

Not long ago I had the chance to attend one of the premiere events in the social learning world. Duke University's Tony O'Driscoll's presentation on the evolving nature of training and learning has had me more closely watching the way people around me learn using social media.

Consider my eyes open.

First, a quick note, in the last ten years my career has focused on two areas: online learning and social media. So I thought I knew my stuff. But things are changing around us. Right now. Fast.

Some real examples: Today my six-year-old son was checking out Spore videos on YouTube. After about two videos he shut down YouTube and ran to his own Ninetendo DS, fired up his Spore game, and quickly rattled off all he had just learned from the YouTube video. Before long he was "replaying planets." I'm not sure who taught him how to replay planets, but as likely as not, it was another 6-year-old on the other side of the world.

Two weeks ago my 16-year-old nephew and I broke out the guitars and started trying to figure out some Stevie Ray Vaughn tunes. We spent about two minutes trying to figure one song out and then quickly jumped online and found dozens of other guitarists who had posted the music we were looking for, commented on each others' posts, made corrections and rated each others' interpretations.

The magic of social networks. Peers learning from each other, and helping each other learn.

Lest you think its all rock-n-roll and video games, think again. We are working with clients who are operating social networks to help professionals learn from each other. Mental health professionals asking and answering questions in real time. Manufacturing professionals getting information they need from peers around the world. Right now. Communities too slow? How about real time peer-to-peer learning in 140 characters? Take a look at the conversation happening right now as people help each other fix a clogged drain, use Microsoft Word and comply with HIPAA regulations.

Last week, we had the opportunity to talk social media at The National Council's conference. For those not familiar with The National Council, it's the national group representing behavioral, mental and public health. Serious stuff. Serious topics. Serious business. Somewhere around 2,000 professionals gathered for this event, and guess what the hot topic was?

Health care dollars from the stimulus package? Medicaid? Medicare? Electronic health records?

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. And wrong.

Social media.

Really.

Craig Newmark, founder of Craig's List, was one of the featured presenters. The social media lab we staffed was standing room only from opening bell till they rolled up the carpet. The National Council's CEO spent the first ten minutes of her keynote talking about social media.

We talked to substance abuse professionals who use Twitter to connect alcohol recovery support groups. We talked to executive directors who use social media to communicate with policy makers. We talked to mental health professionals who tweet with their local media when crisis communication situations arise.

And it seems from the moment our plane touched down back in Columbus, the topic of the day is social media in health care. We're helping hospitals Tweet about new births, heath tips, flu vaccinations availability and new physicians. We're helping surgeons connect with patients and prospective patients on Facebook to answer questions. We're helping health care advocates collaborate online to discuss policy. Yesterday, Good Morning America even did a piece on the role of social media in health care.

It's a full seven days for Webbed Marketing and our in-laws and cousins. Here are some of the Internet marketing and social media events coming up:

March 16, 2009
10AM-12:30PM EST
How To Use Social Media To Fill Your Theatre Seats.
Lancaster, PA
By now you are likely familiar with blogs, wikis, Facebook and Twitter, but what is the practical use of these different outlets to drive people to your theatres? Amy Marshall (@amymarshall) of Webbed Marketing, one of the Midwest's largest and fastest growing independent Internet marketing agencies, will cut through the clutter and provide an overview that de-mystifies social media and shows true possibilities for your businesses. She will also share a case study and speak to a few of the theatre groups social media presence and how they can enhance it.

March 18, 2009
2:00-3:00PM EST
Online Webinar
Webbed Marketing Approved Twitter Tools and Applications. Can't decide between TweetDeck, Twhirl, TwitterFox and Twitterrific? See our list of ten great twitter tools and applications, how to get the most out of them, why we use them and how they will improve your Twitter experience. Join Ohio's Social Media Darling Rebecca Roebuck (@dcrebekah) for this webinar.

March 18, 2009
Online Webinar
Learn from ex-Google insider and co-founder of one of the leading advertising analytics companies, Adam Goldberg, along with leading quantitative marketing expert, Dr. Purush Papatla, about how to track, assemble, sequence, and allocate conversion credit across your online marketing mix.

March 19, 2009
7:30-9:30AM EST
How to Make a Small Biz Successful with Social Media Tools. Ohio Web Leaders welcomes Katie McCartney (@katie_mccartney) from ReMax. The last OWL event filled up and people were turned away,so grab your seat now (well, don't grab your seat, umm.. you know what I mean.)
Columbus, OH

"We can't open this up to our employees, it will pull them away from work."

"What about legal implications? The FDIC regulates all our communications. An employee can distribute un-reviewed content to the world and we could liable."

"We lose control of our brand."

Quick, that's a corporate executive talking about what? Blogging? Twitter? Facebook? LinkedIn?

Wrong.

The year is 1997 and that's a conversation about email.

In my first job out of college we did not have email, largely because of the above three reasons. Today, I travel across the country talking about social media and these are three of the main objections I often hear about why companies aren't embracing social media.

How quickly we forget.

Today, it would be silly to think of most companies functioning without email. In five years, the same will be said for social media.

Other parallels:

1. 12 years ago everyone said they wouldn't have time to check email because they already spent a lot of time faxing, reading/writing memos and on the phone. Email reduced our dependencies on these communication channels. Today I'm told that with the flood of email we all receive, no one has time to Tweet. My argument? Done right, Twitter and other social networks reduce the amount of email you send, just as email reduced the number of memos we all typed.
2. 12 years ago people said email was purely a social application and a way to distribute get-rich-quick-scams and pornography. I hear the same thing said about social media every day. We've all become pretty good at sifting through the crap and using email as a key part of our work environment.
3. 12 years ago email was dismissed as a fad and thought to be a disruptive element that new college grads wanted. Probably don't need to expand on that one any further.

What about your company? Is social media part of your sanctioned (or unsanctioned) work flow? If not, why not?

Clients often ask us about the difference between "importance" and "relevance" when it comes to generating online word of mouth. Some influencers who talk about you online are important, but not relevant, others are relevant, but not important, some are both, some are neither. I used the below  analogy yesterday and got some good feedback, so I wanted to share it with the BuzzSaw readers.

Barack Obama is important. Leader of the free world and such. If I am getting mugged in a dark alley and Barack Obama shows up to help me, he is not relevant. If my 6'4", 250 pound neighbor who bounces bars on the weekend shows up to help me in that alley, he is relevant, but not important. If Chuck Norris shows up he is both relevant and important.